|
Introduction:
Every Christian husband knows Ephesians
5:22-23. Even if they do not know the reference, they know the Bible
says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head
of the church.” While
we may like to look at the wives’ side of that statement, we
husbands need to consider our side.
We need to be husbands worthy of submission. When we discuss our roles in the
home, (in this lesson, the husbands, and in the next, the
wives)
we are actually discussing a test of faith.
God has given us direction for our homes.
We have to ask ourselves, “Do we really believe God?
Is His way really best?
Or will we do things our own way.”
If we are not living according to the Lord’s Word in our
homes, no matter how difficult that is, we are failing faith’s
test. God has given us great responsibility
in our homes, husbands, and it is mutually exclusive of whether or
not our wives are fulfilling their responsibilities.
We are not to be children, forsaking our responsibilities
and claiming our wives started it.
We must be adults, filling our responsibilities no matter
what. Our
responsibility in the home is summed up in two words: Leadership
and Love. Discussion: I.
“The husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is
head of the church” (Ephesians
5:23). A.
As Christ has
authority in the church, so does the husband have authority in the
home.
1.
According to Ephesians
1:22-23, all things in the church have been placed under
Christ’s feet. Christ’s
word is final. His
decision stands and the church is to follow Christ, even when we
do not understand or agree (Proverbs
3:5). So it
is regarding the husband within the home.
He is the head, his decisions stand as final and the family
is to follow him. 2.
However, Christ’s authority was qualified in I
Corinthians 15:27. The
Father, who placed all things in subjection to the Son, was still
in authority over the Son. Jesus
said that He neither spoke nor did anything from His own
authority, but was submissive to His head, the Father (John
5:19, 30; 12:49). In
like manner, I
Corinthians 11:3 demonstrates that just as the Son was
submissive to the Father in His headship over man, the man must be
submissive to the Son and the Father in his role of headship at
home. Being the heads
of our homes does not give us permission to do as we wish.
Rather, like Jesus, we must speak and do what we have been
commanded by our head, Jesus Christ. B.
As Christ was the savior of His church, the husband is to
be the savior of the family. 1.
Ephesians
5:23
highlights not only Christ’s headship, but the fact that He is
the savior of the body. According
to Luke
19:10, Jesus came to seek and save the lost.
His leadership authority is not exercised for His benefit,
but for ours. 2.
In like manner, the husband should act as the savior of the
family. Obviously, we
do not provide the sacrifice for salvation.
However, in general, we are to sacrifice ourselves and our
personal desires for the good of our family.
In specific, we should realize that leaders are supposed to
be taking people somewhere and we are to be taking our families to
heaven. We most often
relate Hebrews
13:17 to a church’s eldership, but it has just as much
application to husbands and fathers.
We will give an account for the souls of our wives and
children. For those
who are saved, we will have to give account that it is because of
us and not in spite of us. For
those who are lost, we will have to give account that it is in
spite of us and not because of us.
Husbands, we do a lot to make sure our wives get to live in
nice houses and ride in nice cars.
We do much to make sure our kids get into good universities
and awesome sports programs.
What are we doing to make sure our families get into
heaven? C.
As Christ was the example for His church, the husband is to
be the example for his family. 1.
The whole tenor of these verses in Ephesians
5:23-33 demonstrates that Christ is our example.
Other passages demonstrate that as well.
Consider Ephesians
5:1 and I Peter 2:21.
In Hebrews
2:14-18, we find that Christ was unwilling to simply tell
us how to live this life, but also endured it that He might be a
faithful and merciful priest for us.
He was unwilling to simply sit on high and issue forth
behavioral edicts. He
certainly has never been willing to say, “Do as I say, not as I
do.” 2.
In like manner, we husbands need to be examples to our
families. We need to
lead the way, going before them and demonstrating the proper life.
We must not try to take our place on high, issuing decisive
directions. Rather,
we must live properly with and before our families demonstrating
faithfulness to God in all things.
We must lead exemplary lives in our families, just as Paul
commanded Timothy to do within the church (I
Timothy 4:12). D.
As Christ served His church, the husband is to serve his
family. 1.
According to Matthew
20:28, Jesus expressly did not come to be served, but to
serve us, giving his life as a ransom for us.
He commanded His apostles that they must not use their
authority for tyrannical purposes within His church, but must
serve those over whom they had authority (Luke
22:25-26). 2.
We are to be servants as well.
We are not the heads of our homes in order to tyrannize our
wife and children. They
are not our property to do with and treat however we choose.
They are not our slaves to provide for our every whim and
desire. We are their servants, to find out their needs and provide
for them. II.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the
church” (Ephesians
5:25). A.
As Christ loved the church unconditionally, the husband is
to love his wife unconditionally.
1.
The term used to describe Christ’s love for the church is
“agapao.” This
love is the unconditional love we hear so much about.
This unconditional love is demonstrated in Romans
5:6-11. While
we were His enemies, Christ loved us and provided for our
salvation. His love
was not the spontaneous reaction to our awesomeness and
lovableness. Rather,
it was the conscious choice to do what was best for the unlovable. 2.
In the same way, husbands, we are to love our wives
unconditionally. Even
if she has become our enemy.
The love we are commanded is not the spontaneous reaction
to our wives’ beauty, personality, service or love.
It is the conscious choice to do what is best for our
wives, no matter what. I
Corinthians 13:4-7 describes the love we are to have for
our wives unconditionally. Further,
Colossians
3:19 explains that this love means refraining from
bitterness and exasperation.
Even when our wives do things that upset us, our
responsibility is to treat them patiently, lovingly and tenderly.
Too many men believe if the love has gone out of their
marriages that they are allowed to divorce their wives.
Husbands, not only is abandoning our marriages not allowed
in this situation, but neither is a lack of love.
Loving our wives was not God’s hope, His advice or His
goal for our marriages. It was His command for us and to do anything other than love
our wives is sin. B.
As
Christ loved the church sacrificially, the husband must also love
his wife sacrificially. 1.
According to Ephesians
5:25, Jesus demonstrated His love by giving Himself for
the church. His
giving for the church began with leaving the glories of heaven to
come to earth, living as one of us (Philippians
2:5-7). Then
it concluded with His sacrifice for our sins. 2.
Jesus said, “Greater love has no man than this, than to
lay down his life for his friends” (John
15:13). Husbands,
we cannot claim that we love our wives if we are not willing to
sacrifice ourselves for them.
This concept is not just about physically dying for our
wives, but about giving up our desires and wants to provide and
promote hers. We must
live Philippians
2:3-4 in our homes, viewing our wives as more important
and seeking her interests above our own. C.
As
Christ loved the church, providing for her growth, the husband
must provide for his wife. 1.
According to Ephesians
4:15-16, Jesus, the church’s head, provides for the
body’s growth. Certainly,
He does so by helping each part of His body grow stronger and
provide more work, but He is still the one who builds us up.
Through the word and through prayer, He nourishes and
strengthens us. 2.
In Ephesians
5:28-29, Paul provided another illustration of this love.
Just as we love our own bodies, nourishing and cherishing
them, we are to nourish and cherish our wives.
We nourish them, that is, we must provide nutritional
nourishment for our wives. This
is not just about working to put food on the table.
This is also about putting the spiritual nourishment on the
table, giving our wives what they need to grow spiritually as well
as physically. Secondly,
we are to cherish them, that is, we provide the emotional support
they need. We need to
listen to their emotional needs, supporting them and providing for
them. We will only
fulfill this aspect of love if we follow Peter’s command in I
Peter 3:7. “Husbands,
likewise, dwell with [your wives] with understanding …”
We are not allowed to toss out the clichéd “Women!
You just can’t understand them.”
God commanded us to live understandably.
Our duty is to strive to learn what our wives think and
feel. Then we must
live with them accordingly, not according to the way we believe
they ought to think and feel, but according to the way they think
and feel. Only
through this kind of understanding can we nourish and cherish our
wives. D.
As
Christ loved His church, honoring her, the husband must also honor
his wife. 1.
According to Ephesians
5:26-27, Jesus provided His sacrifice in order to cleanse
and sanctify us, presenting us as a glorious church without spot
or wrinkle. He wanted
to glorify us and make us glorious.
This encapsulates the idea of bestowing honor.
Even when we were in our sins, Jesus wanted to honor us.
He viewed us as so important that He was willing to die for
us to help us be the glorious church He knew we could be by His
grace. 2.
Just as Christ honored His church, husbands, we are to
honor our wives. We
are to present her as glorious, without spot or wrinkle.
Peter described the honor we are to bestow in I
Peter 3:7. He
declared that we are to honor her as a fellow heir of the grace of
Christ. Our wives
were so important to Jesus, He died for them.
If they were that important to Jesus, how important ought
they to be to us? Additionally,
Peter said we should honor them as the “weaker vessel.”
While it may be true that women, in general, have less
physical strength than men, that is not Peter’s point.
Additionally, Peter is not saying that women are weak and
need us men to do everything for them.
When he talks about the “weaker vessel,” he is drawing
a word picture of a fine pottery that is easily broken.
We are supposed to envision the special crystal pitcher and
the fine china we reserve only for special occasions.
Or we might picture the porcelain doll that has been handed
down from our great-grandmother preserved in a curio cabinet to be
protected from harm. We are to treat our wives the way we treat these precious
fragile vessels. Our
wives are not unbreakable rag dolls to be tossed about, bruised,
and abused. They are not the regular dishware that if it gets chipped in
the dishwasher, we do not care because it is “just the every day
stuff.” They are
precious gems, which we care for and protect, lest they be broken
by us or others. That is why we strive to love them, caring for them,
nourishing and cherishing them, understanding them and helping
them to go to heaven. The
Proverbialist said, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing”
(Proverbs
18:22). We need to treat her as that good gift that should be handled
with care and protected at all costs. Conclusion: Husbands, we must lead our homes. We must do so by loving, honoring, cherishing and understanding our wives. I Peter 3:7 explained how important our duties are. If we do not fulfill our responsibilities at home, our prayers are hindered. That is, we will become separated from our God, because that is what sin does (Isaiah 59:1-3).
The numerous problems in families today are caused
by disregard to God's word. Regrettably, many preachers
today have done a disservice to families by not proclaiming God's
whole counsel about the home. Even many of those who
proclaim God's order fully spend half of their time apologizing
for it because it is not politically correct or "up to
date." Herein is the test to our faith. Do we
truly believe God's way is best? If so, we must boldly
proclaim God's plan for the home without apology. Only in
this way will families be strengthened and led to heaven.
Glory
to God in the church by Christ Jesus
|
||||||||||
