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Introduction:
Imagine the world has come to an end. I don’t know what Judgment
will look like, but pretend we are standing in a long line,
hearing each judgment—“Depart, worker of iniquity”; “Enter
the rest of your Lord, good and faithful servant.” The line
moves slowly, giving us plenty of time to think about our lives.
What do you think will be important about your life at that time?
We recently read the story of Mary and Martha from Luke
10:38-42, learning only one thing is necessary—knowing
Jesus (cf. Philippians
3:7-8). We won’t care about our GPA or class standing.
We won’t care how much money we made. We won’t care what house
we lived in, car we drove, styles we wore or jewelry we possessed.
We won’t care what company we worked for, buildings we built,
laws we passed, inventions we patented. We will care about whether
we knew Jesus. As we ponder our own lives, we glance up the line
and see someone familiar. They are about to enter the Judgment
Hall. Before they do, they turn and glance down the line. It is
one of our children. What question will be in our minds then?
“Did I introduce my children to Jesus and help them know Him?”
Knowing Jesus is not only the one necessary thing for us; it is
the one necessary thing for our children. What does that mean for
us as parents? Discussion: I.
The problem. A.
First, remember our background story. In Luke
10:38-42, Jesus is in Mary and Martha’s home. Mary sat
at Jesus’ feet listening. But Martha was distracted by her
hostess responsibilities. Martha did not intentionally ignore
Jesus; she was just distracted. According to Philippians
3:7-11, the one necessary thing is knowing Jesus. II
Peter 1:3-4 explains why. All things pertaining to life
and godliness are granted to us through knowing Jesus. Further, we
are granted great and precious promises and become partakers of
the divine nature, escaping the corruption of the world. Don’t
we want this for our children? B.
Go back to our imagined scenario. As we wait in the
judgment line, knowing we are about to hear our son or
daughter’s eternal destiny, what will we be thinking? “My son
was the star pitcher of the baseball team that won the Little
League World Series. I know we had to miss a bunch of assemblies
because we were on the road so much. Surely Jesus understands how
important a team commitment is.” “My daughter was the leading
lady in her high school and college musicals. She was the star of
the show and was going to go on Broadway. I know I would let her
skip Bible classes, Gospel meetings and even Sunday night
assemblies for rehearsals. Surely Jesus understand how important
our dreams are.” “My son had a 4.0 GPA all through school,
with perfect attendance. He was Valedictorian of his high school
and college. I know we rarely had time to study the Bible, pray
with him or even get his Bible class lessons done. Surely Jesus
understands how important school is to get a really good job and
make good money.” “My daughter was the first female President
of the United States. I know we never taught her to serve other
people, visiting the sick, shut-in and elderly or sacrificing her
desires for the good of her brethren. But these days a woman has
to focus on her career if she doesn’t want to get left behind.
Surely Jesus understands that.” C.
We live in a fast-paced society, ready made to help Satan
distract our children. Sadly, his biggest ally is often us, the
parents and grandparents. Too often we want to give our kids all
this world has to offer. It offers a lot. But consider Luke
8:14. The seed sown among thorns is choked out by cares,
riches and pleasures of life in this world. When we spend our time
offering our kids everything this world has to offer, we find out
this world only offers an eternity in hell. I
John 2:15-17 says the things of the world are not from the
Father and are passing away. Only those who do the will of the
Father will abide forever. D.
What gets in the way of introducing our children to Jesus?
Our work, their work, their school, homework, PTA, scouts, sports,
television, internet, video games, music, movies, friends. Please
do not misunderstand. Martha’s serving was not wrong in and of
itself. In fact, there was a time and place for it even within
God’s plan. Hospitality is God’s command. In like manner,
nothing on the above list is wrong in and of itself. But when the
average day of our children’s lives is done, how much time was
spent introducing them to Jesus versus insuring they get to the
best college so they can have the best job? E.
II
Peter 3:10-12
says the earth and all it contains will be burned up. Their
diplomas won’t make it. Their trophies will be destroyed. Their
alma maters will no longer exist and their professors will not be
sought for references. Their cars will be burned. Their houses
will crumble. Their jobs will not amount to anything. What will
matter is their godliness and holiness. How will they measure on
that scale? How much of their measurement will be because of us as
their parents? F.
Please understand. I know it is possible for kids to be
raised right and go wrong. In the end, our children’s eternity
will be based on their choices and not our own. However, I do know
Proverbs
22:6. No matter how you interpret it, it says, as a
general rule, if we raise our children properly, they will stick
with it, coming back to the principles with which we have anchored
them. I know there are exceptions. But in general, when we are
focusing our children on knowing Jesus, they will not leave Him
when they are older. How, then, do we introduce our children to
Jesus? II.
Introducing our children to Jesus A.
First,
it takes way more than “coming to church.”
How many parents have told me they don’t understand why Junior
left the Lord since they always brought him “to church”? Don
Adair illustrated this point for me one night. He asked, “When
is it wrong to attend all the assemblies and classes of the local
congregation?” The answer, “When that is all you do.” If all
we can say when we wonder why our children are unfaithful to the
Lord is that we “brought them to church,” that likely gives us
our answer. If all we did was “take them to church,” we
didn’t introduce them to Jesus. We just introduced them to the
local church. B.
Have
a passion for knowing Jesus yourself.
John Maxwell says, “You teach what you know. You reproduce what
you are.” The reality is, if we want our children to grow up
with a passion for knowing Jesus, they have to see it in us. We
often turn to Deuteronomy
6:7-9 to talk about teaching our kids. We need to talk to
them when they lie down and when they rise up, when they are in
the house and when we walk in the way. But do not miss Deuteronomy
6:5-6. We will not remotely accomplish this teaching if we
do not love Jesus with all our heart, soul and might. We will not
implant Jesus’ words on our children’s hearts if His words are
not implanted on ours. If we asked our children what is our number
one passion in life, what would they say? The Titans? Hunting and
fishing? Working? Television? Music? Or would it be knowing Jesus?
Do our children ever see us studying our Bibles or praying? Do
they ever hear us singing praises because we are happy? Do they
see us memorizing scriptures? Do they see us resolving problems
using the Scripture? Do they see us excited over something we
learned from the Bible? Do they see us rejoicing over those who
have come to know Jesus and agonizing and mourning over those who
are leaving Him? Do they see us sacrificing anything because of
Jesus or His church? Where do our children see us spending our
time? Where do they see us spending our money? Our children are
not stupid. Even if they cannot verbalize our greatest passion, we
can be sure they internalize it. This is the only absolute on this
list. The rest of the list is more practical and hands on
suggestions. You may like them or you may not. You may want to try
some and forget others. But whatever you do or don’t do, get
this one down. Our children are more likely to develop a strong
relationship with Jesus if they see we have one first. C.
Teach
your kids the scriptures.
In II
Timothy 1:5, Paul talked about the legacy of faith passed
from Lois to her daughter Eunice to her son Timothy. In II
Timothy 3:14-15, we learn an integral part of passing on
this faith was teaching the scriptures. Timothy was introduced to
scripture in childhood and was convinced of the faith he needed
then. No wonder his faith blossomed as he grew. Please, do not
leave teaching the scriptures to your children up to Bible class
teachers to accomplish in 1 ½ hours per week. Isn’t it
interesting that we send our kids to school for 30 to 40 hours per
week in order to learn how to live in this world, but many of us
rely on ¾ to 1 ½ hours
per week to teach them how to live in the next. What do you think
our children learn from that disparity? You don’t have to be a
Bible scholar to teach them the scriptures in a number of ways.
How about simply having a regular time of Bible reading and
discussion? You could purchase some Bible class material to go
through together at home. You could do what my friend David
Banning recommends. He calls it the “search and discover
method.” Read through the chapter or Bible passage ahead of time
and pick out some things you want your children to find in the
text. When you get together to read it, have the kids ready with
highlighters and markers. As you read, they look and listen for
whatever you have requested. Then discuss what they found. For
instance, you may want your children to learn about treating their
siblings properly. Read Genesis
4 and have them search for how Cain mistreated Abel and
then discuss what they found and how it transfers to their life.
No doubt, as your children get older you will want to get them
into studying on their own. Show them how to use commentaries,
concordances and Bible dictionaries. Let them lead one of your
Bible discussions. The sky is the limit for how you teach your
children the Bible. Let me say that the number one way to teach
them the Bible is to inspire them to study it on their own by
watching your example of study. D.
Have
them memorize scripture.
Psalm
119:11 says, “I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you” (ESV). If we want our children
to overcome the tempter, we need to have them store the word in
their hearts. Some of that will be done through Bible study and
teaching. They will learn the stories that will guide them through
life. Further, through study they will learn and outline the
books, remembering what happened in each one. But we need to go a
step further. No matter your child’s age, you ought to work on
memorizing scripture. If they can mimic you, they can memorize
scripture. The goal is not to race and get that memorizing thing
done. It is just to build and learn. Therefore, you don’t have
to make sure they memorize a certain number of scriptures per
week. You just need to make sure they are internalizing the
scriptures. You can have whatever plan you want. You may want to
have them systematically memorize entire sections or even books of
Scripture or you may have a list of scriptures you think they
should know. I know a person who established ABCs of scripture. He
found important scriptures beginning with each successive letter
of the alphabet and had his children memorize those. In any case,
get them memorizing. One point of caution, it is very easy for
children to memorize verses and then forget them later. I don’t
know how many verses my kids (and I) have memorized and if asked
today, couldn’t quote them anymore. Work on long term memory
retention through repetition. Pick a verse or passage. Once the
child knows it, have them say it 25 times. Then the next day have
them say it 20 times. Then the next have them say it 15. Then the
next have them say it 10. Then the next have them say it 5. Then
have them say it once per day for the following week. Then have
them say it once per week for 5 or 6 weeks. Then make sure they
review it once per month following that. In time, the verse will
be locked in their memory forever. After they are starting their
daily repetitions, introduce a new verse and follow the same
pattern. “That is a lot of work,” you say. I know. But it is
rewarding and worth it if our children develop an abiding
knowledge of God’s word and Jesus. Let me add one final word of
caution. If you are not willing to work on memorizing scripture
yourself, your children will not likely do it themselves. Inspire
them by your example. E.
Teach
your children to pray.
In Luke
11:1, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. If
those men needed to be taught, how much more do we and our
children? The number one way to teach your children to pray is
simply to pray with them. Let them hear you pray at more than meal
time. Let them hear you praise God for how wonderful He is. Let
them hear you give thanks to God for your home, family, food, job,
clothes, air to breathe, etc. Let them hear you confess your
sins—yes, confess your sins. Let them hear you make petitions
and intercessions. Let them hear how much you trust and rely on
God. As they grow, listen closely to their prayers and offer them
helpful suggestions. Encourage them to pray on their own. It
doesn’t matter when you do this. You may want to do it first
thing in the morning. You may want to do it around the meal table
(as long as it is more than just praying for the food). In our
house, we typically make bedtime a time when I pray with kids. I
have to share with you another suggestion from David Banning that
I just heard a few weeks ago. We have modified it slightly and
implemented it in our home in the last two weeks and it is really
amazing. He calls it “Praying through the Bible.” (By the way,
for those of you who have been working the prayers in the “Our
Spiritual Heritage” lessons, he snagged the idea for the outline
of the prayers from the author of that material). Begin with a
blank sheet of paper. Write the following five statements on the
paper with room in between them to add information. “Dear God,
You are…” “Dear God, You…” “Dear God, thank You
for…” “Dear God, help…” I have added “Dear God,
forgive me for…” Then pick a passage of scripture. Have one
person read the scriptures while everyone else fills in their
papers. After the reading, discuss what everyone filled in on
their paper. Then go around the room and let each person pray. Let
them know they are allowed to add in anything they want, but you
want them to especially pray what they learned from the Bible
reading. You may even want to keep a master journal of your
prayers, keeping track of what you found to pray based on each
passage. When we did this for the first time about two weeks ago,
we had my cousin’s kids with us. Believe me it takes time to do
this when you are working with six children ranging from 4 to 10
years old. But when we were finished, they all wanted to know if
we could do it again on the next day. Granted, this may not work
so well if you only have children who cannot yet write. However,
even Ryan, who is four and cannot write or listen attentively for
long periods of time, has been impacted. I love hearing him pray,
“Dear God, You are wise and we are not. You are more powerful
than we are.” I think that is a step in the right direction.
Don’t miss the most important part of Luke
11:1. The disciples wanted to learn how to pray because
they saw Jesus praying. If we act like prayer is a chore, it will
be a chore for them as well. Be excited about praying with you
family and then be surprised as your kids are excited about it
also. F.
Spend
time with other Christians.
In Acts
2:46-47, we see the early Christians spending time
together within and without the assembly. I am amazed at the
parents who next to never have other Christians in their home and
next to never go to other Christians homes, who then complain
because the young people in the church, including their children,
rarely want to spend time together. Remember, we teach what we
know, we reproduce what we are. Give a priority to your
relationships with your brethren over every other relationship you
have. Spend social time together and spend spiritual time
together. When you get together with other Christians for study,
prayer or singing, don’t send your kids off to the play room
(unless it needs to be an adults only time of study). Instead, let
the children be part of the spiritual activity with other
Christians. We can get to know Jesus by spending time with
Jesus’ family. Remember the principle of Matthew
12:46-50. These people are our family. We need to spend
time with them and inspire our kids to spend time with them as
well. G.
Prioritize
these things.
For 30 to 40 hours per week, we send our kids to school and we
won’t let anything except emergencies get in the way. We don’t
say, “I will try.” “Maybe.” “I’ll think about it.”
We just do it. We enroll our children in sports and we move heaven
and earth to make sure they make it to every practice and every
game out of commitment to the team. Those things are important to
us. We prioritize them and teach our children how important they
are by doing that. We need to prioritize knowing Jesus. Our
children must know that knowing Jesus is the one necessary thing,
more important than even school and other scheduled items. We
don’t let anything get in the way of that. Further, when other
things threaten to block out spiritual activities like assembling
or Bible class, we choose the activity that lets us get to know
Jesus. Understand me here. I don’t know with 100% certainty if
you let your child miss an assembly or Bible class for a softball
championship game, a play performance or a Scout trip that they
have sinned and will lose their soul over it. I do know, however,
when you let your children miss Bible class or an assembly that
you have taught them whatever you did instead of Bible class or
assembling is more important. Don’t be surprised if they grow up
and think a lot of things are more important than knowing Jesus.
Remember which portion will not be taken away (Luke
10:42). You may be saying what I catch myself saying all
the time. “I want to do these things with my children, but I
just don’t have time.” We have now hit on what this lesson is
all about. There is only one way to make time for the one
necessary thing. Sacrifice some unnecessary things. Think of it
this way: if our kids never learn to hit a baseball, throw a
football or shoot hoops, but they know Jesus, their eternity will
be alright. If they never learn to parse a verb, recite the
multiplication tables or speak Spanish, but they know Jesus, their
eternity will be alright. If they barely scrape by financially,
sometimes even having to beg for bread, but they know Jesus, their
eternity will be alright. Remember the parable of the rich man and
Lazarus in Luke
16:19-31. As hard as it might be to watch it in this life,
in eternity, which would you rather your child be—the rich man
or Lazarus? Again, don’t misunderstand. I am not saying to get
to heaven we have to be just like Lazarus. But it is better to be
like Lazarus and know Jesus, than to be like the rich man and be
distracted from Jesus. We must keep it all in perspective. Conclusion: We have lots of options for our kids. It is a good thing for our kids to get to enjoy and be involved in them. However, only one thing is necessary for them. Let’s not develop habits of distraction in them from youth. Instead, let’s develop their relationship with Jesus.
Glory
to God in the church by Christ Jesus
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