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Introduction... I. Dateline: Oct. 30, 2005.
Today I am approximately 19,152 days old (that sounds old,
doesn’t it?). It
occurred to me a few days ago that, out of so many days, seven
stand out as head and shoulders above the rest.
A. Five of those seven days are related to my
children in some way. B. Three of these five are the days upon which
each was born. II. The birth of a child is a very special
thing. Few things
measure up to it. A. You take your wife to the doctor for the
first time and he confirms what you suspected- you are happy,
excited, and filled with anticipation. B. You enjoy telling others and letting them
share in your joy. C. The next several months are spent in careful
preparation. D. Then the pains start and you rush to the
hospital. There are
anxious moments. Then
one of the most natural, yet also one of the most special, things
in all the earth occurs; a new life is born and you look into the
precious face of your child. III. As a father at this point, whether you are a
Christian or a non-Christian will determine exactly the feelings
that you have over the next little while... A. A non-Christian father will tentatively lay
plans with earthly interests and considerations — feelings of
responsibility. B. A devout Christian father will manifest many
of these same feelings. But
more importantly, eternity will be in his heart. Feeling the
responsibility of a soul is considerably more important than
feeling responsible to provide a college education. IV. Somewhere along the line, a parent asks himself the
question: Why did I choose to have children?
In answering that question myself I have found two very
good reasons: A. The first centers around the heart’s
immense capacity to love and be loved. 1. God created every man with the wonderful ability to both
dispense and receive love. 2. There is no love among men to be compared to the love of
a parent for a child or a child for a parent. 3. Without that opportunity to experience love, one misses
one of the greatest joys of life. B. A second reason is found in a statement made
by the Psalmist in... Psa.
127:3-5 (3)
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the
womb is a reward. (4) Like
arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's
youth. (5) How
blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be
ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate. V. David described children as “arrows in the hand of a warrior” (v.
4). A. Within the heart of man there is a desire to
extend his influence beyond himself, particularly into the future.
This desire may be rooted in man’s longing for
immortality. But,
perhaps more reasonably, it is simply because you want your life
to count for something. 1. You want to believe that the world is a better place
because you have lived – Matt.
5:13,14 2. You want that influence, particularly for good, to
continue long after you are gone. B. Therefore, you bear children and you train
them (Prov.
22:6) and they become extensions of who you are.
Your central purposes, at least in an ideal world, become
their purposes. VI. The question I want to raise for consideration is
this: How do you practically accomplish this?
How do you build such a bond between you and your children
that they become extensions of your most noble traits? Discussion... I. Dependable Authority To Respect... A. Children, merely by definition, are
inherently immature (physically, socially, intellectually, and
spiritually)... cf. Luke
2:52; Heb. 5:12ff; 1 Pet. 2:2 B. God gives to parents the responsibility and
authority to guide children to maturity... Eph.
6:1-4 C. Therefore, more than being pals, God wants
parents to be parents; to establish consistent parameters of
behavior and enforce them. 1. The parameters insure proper behavior 2. The consistency insures respect. II. Infallible Law To Live By... A. The Fathers of ancient Israel were given the
sacred duty to teach their children the ways of God... Deut.
6:4-9 1. “Teach them
diligently.” (6:7)
— a. Teach with commitment and zeal; don’t neglect this responsibility. 2. “Talk of them
when you sit in your house.” (6:7)
— a. In private; let the commands of God have an important place in the
innermost part of your life. 3. “Talk of
them...when you walk by the way.” (6:7)
— a. Teach wherever you go; even while you travel.
Use every occasion to show your children the application of
God’s law to life. 4. “Talk of
them...when you lie down.” (6:7)
— a. Let the law of God be the last thing your children hear as they go to
bed at night. Let
them fall asleep with God’s word on their mind. 5. “Talk of
them...when you rise up.” (6:7)
— a. Teach your children the law of the Lord in the morning as they go
forth to meet the day. Remind
them, before they’ve had occasion in the day to sin against Him,
that God is watching over wherever they go and whatever they do. 6. “Bind them as a
sign on your hand.” (6:8)
— a. Let your children see the word of God live in everything you do.
You cannot teach your children to do something that you are
unwilling to do yourself. 7. “They shall be as
frontals on your forehead.” (6:8)
— a. No one can know what you think like your children.
They live with you in such a close relationship that they
know what really governs your mind.
If the word of God is foremost in your heart, they will
know it. 8. “Write them on
the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (6:9)
— a. Make a public commitment to God.
Your children should see that your commitment to God is not
merely a hollow profession, but a commitment that rules your life
and a confession which you are not ashamed to make to the world. B. Parents today, particularly fathers, have that same responsibility...
Eph.
6:4 1. It is a role you cannot abdicate and a responsibility
that you cannot delegate (not to the local preacher, the elders,
nor Bible class teachers). 2. Parents, it is your responsibility to spiritually educate
your children! III. Unconditional Love To Live With... A. We live in an age when many are unloving and
without natural affection – sin which Paul condemned
(Rom.
1:31). Child
abuse is rampant in our society.
B. Parents are commanded to love their
children... Tit.
2:4,5; cf. 1 Cor. 13:4-8 C. Love and its demonstration are a vital
part of family life... 1. Children should see that their parents love one
another... 2. Children should see that their parents love them... IV. Faithful Example To Follow... A. I lament the loss of role models in our
society. 1. On the silver screen you used to see the Lone Ranger, Roy
Rogers, and Gene Autry. And
the good guys always wore white hats, the line between right and
wrong was always clear; and the side of right and virtue always
won. 2. But now the names of role models are Stallone,
Swartzneggar, and Van Dam. Might
makes right is the philosophy they preach and violence is their
method of choice. Further,
the line between right and wrong is intentionally blurred. B. God calls for all, especially parents,
to be examples... 1
Tim. 4:12; Matt. 5:16 C. Our children need to see examples of... 1. Moral purity... 2. Faithful worship... 3. Personal righteousness... 4. Active service... V. Consistent Discipline To Correct... A. As parents, we are commanded to discipline
our children... Eph.
6:4; Heb. 12:7-8 1. “Discipline” (GR paideia)
means... the whole training and education of children (which
relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for
this purpose both commands and admonitions, as well as reproof and
punishment) 2. It includes two concepts... a. Instruction in right ways... b. Correction, even punitive discipline... B. Corrective discipline works.
God says it does! (Despite modern pop-psychologists). Prov.
13:24 “He
who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines
him diligently.” [Speaks to those who say “I love my child too much to
spank him.] Prov.
22:15 “Foolishness
is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will
remove it far from him.” [Speaks to those who say, “Let them alone, children will
be children] Prov.
23:13-14 “Do
not hold back discipline from the child, although you beat him
with the rod, he will not die. 14 You shall strike him with a rod
and rescue his soul from Sheol.” [Speaks to those who say, “I don’t want to hurt or
inhibit my child.] Prov.
29:15 “The
rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way
brings shame to his mother.” [Speaks
to those who say, “Let your son sow his wild oats, they’ll
grow out of it and be OK.] VI. Quantity AND Quality Time To Mature... A. The Bible, in no place, commands that you
must spend “X” amount of time with your children.
However, given everything we are commanded to do as
parents, both quantity and quality time
is necessarily implied! 1. We live in a fast-paced society of over-crowded
schedules. We eat our
meals at “fast” food places and cook in microwaves. 2. One thing we can’t do if we want to have strong
marriages and faithful children is short-change our families. B. Listen carefully fathers.
Steve Farrar, in his book Point
Man, makes an excellent point when he says that the #1 problem
in our families today is absentee fathers. (He tells of how the
family started disintegrating, not with the woman in the
workplace, but with the industrial revolution when men went to the
factories). C. Listen carefully mothers.
God commands you to love your husbands, your children, and
to be “workers at home” (Tit.
2:3-5). D. The point is this: There is no such thing as
microwave families! If
you short-change your family your risk unbearable grief and the
wrath of an Almighty God! VII. Hope To Live For... A. We need to teach our children an eternal
perspective... Heb.
9:27; 2 Cor. 4:16-5:1 B. We can't teach our children the value
of fighting the good fight of faith without keeping before them
the rewards... 2
Tim. 4:6-8 C. This hope will... 1. Purify them in obedience... 1
Jn. 3:1-3 2. Motivates them to service... 3. Sustain them in trials... 4. Anchor them to Jesus... Heb.
6:18,19 D. We have a divine obligation to impart to our
children the hope that is in Christ Jesus! Conclusion... I. I want to close my lesson by
simply saying this: Every
parent should see their responsibility of directing their children
toward heaven as the most important challenge of their lives.
I have always felt that, if I failed as a Father to my
children, I will have failed in the greatest undertaking God has
ever given me. II. My feelings were well worded by author
Clifton Rogers:
That Little Fellow’s Dad
I may never be as clever as my neighbor down the street;
Glory
to God in the church by Christ Jesus
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