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Introduction: Somewhere, a
Christian man screams at his wife and kids. He throws things
around the house and even punches holes in the wall. Yet, on
Sunday he comes into the assembly as if nothing is wrong.
Somewhere, a Christian woman nurses grudges against her husband,
her mother-in-law, her neighbor and even the elders in the church.
She speaks ill of them behind their back. She resents them and is
filled with bitterness toward them. Yet, she dresses nicely for
worship, sings out and listens to sermons as though she were the
epitome of spiritual conduct. Somewhere, a Christian teenager
storms to his room, slamming his door, backtalking and yelling at
his parents. At school he will tell his friends how rotten his
parents are and how much he cannot wait to get away from them. But
on Wednesday night, he will be in Bible class answering questions
and acting as though he is an example of Christian character. If
these people were confronted with their anger, they would respond,
“The Bible says I am allowed to be angry as long as I don’t
sin.”
While listing the preceding scenarios, I did not have any
particular individuals in mind. And yet, I imagine each of us can
find times in our own lives when these scenarios accurately
represent us. Amazingly enough, Ephesians
4:26, a verse that so clearly speaks against sin is probably
used to justify more sin than any other verse in the Bible. Very
few people, even among Christians, view the way they act when they
are angry as sin. If they are confronted, they toss this verse out
as a defense. What does this verse really teach? What kind of
behavior does this verse actually justify? Discussion: I. The grammar and context of this verse. A.
The grammar: 1.
The Greek
term translated “angry” is “orgizo”. Vine’s says this
word means “to provoke, to arouse to anger.” Additionally,
Strong’s Enhanced Lexicon states that the verb is in the passive
voice. When Paul says to us, “be angry,” he is not telling us
what to do. He is telling us about something done to us. A better
translation would be “Be angered” or “Be aroused to
anger”. In contrast, the command to “not sin”, from the Greek “hamartano,”
is in the active voice. While being angered is what somebody does
to you, the sin is an action that you take. Notice some
observations from this look at the grammar in this sentence.
2.
We must make
a distinction between the emotion of anger that can be aroused in
us by others and the actions that we take based on that emotion.
We often look at an action and call it anger. A man rams his fist
through a wall—we call it anger. A woman maliciously slanders a
neighbor—we call it anger. While other verses may use the terms
“anger” or “wrath” in this manner, Ephesians 4:26 does not. In this verse, “anger” is not an
action, it is an emotion. You cannot justify any action whatsoever
from the phrase “Be angry.” 3.
Having made
the distinction between the emotion and the action, we observe
that the emotion of anger, according to Webster’s “a strong
feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a real or
supposed wrong,” is lawful. This verse does not ask the
question, “Is anger sinful?” This verse asks the question,
“Do you sin when you are angry?” 4.
Making note
of a more general point, this verse demonstrates that our emotions
should not govern our actions. No matter how we feel, we must live
according to God’s standards. 5.
Additionally,
no matter what anyone else does to us, we have no right to sin.
The defenses that “he started it” or “she did it first” or
“I only get like that when they _____” are childish and
unscriptural. No matter how anyone baits you, pushes your buttons,
treats you unfairly or simply infuriates you, you are not allowed
to sin. 6.
Finally,
while being aroused to anger is not sinful, we must recognize that
the Christian should not be easily aroused. James
1:19 commands us to be slow to wrath. Additionally, note the
following proverbs—Proverbs
14:17, 29; 15:18; 16:32. B.
The context:
1.
Note the
immediate context of the verse. This statement is among a list of
statements that are given as examples of Ephesians
4:20-24. Paul is giving specific examples of putting off the
old man and putting on the new. The old man lies. The new man
tells the truth in love (vs.
25). The old man steals. The new man labors and gives (vs.
28). The old man speaks corruptly. The new man builds others
up (vs. 29). In like manner, the old man allows his anger to justify
sin. The new man may be angered, but will not sin (vs. 26-27). 2.
Note two
observations based on this context. First, when we become
Christians, the way we behave when we are angry should change.
Second, this demonstrates that the Biblical advice to those who
are angry is different from the worldly advice. What we learn from
the Bible will not be communicated on the couch of a secular
psychiatrist. Nor will it be demonstrated by those with whom we
come in contact in the world. What we learn in this verse is
different from what we hear every where else. But it is right.
Because it is from God. II.
Sins that
are not justified even though you have been aroused to anger. A.
While our
secular world may make allowances for “crimes of passion,” I
trust that we recognize murder and physical abuse are not allowed
despite a person’s anger [Matthew
5:21ff]. But I would like us to note several behaviors even
Christians sometimes try to justify by referring to Ephesians
4:26. By no means should this list be considered exhaustive.
But it is a beginning and represents some of the more common
behaviors we commit when we are angry. B.
Explosive
fits of rage: Ephesians
4:31 condemns wrath. In that verse, “wrath” translates the
Greek word “thumos”, which carries with it the concept of a
short lived explosive anger. It is like the pot of water that hits
a certain temperature and suddenly erupts in a boil. But once the
heat is removed, the eruption stops. Demonstrating your anger by
throwing things or hitting things is condemned. The hollering and
yelling of such a fit is also condemned by this verse when Paul
demonstrates that Christians are not allowed to “clamor”. C.
“Venting”: This is similar to the explosive fits of rage.
Instead of exploding at a person, some are counseled to go punch a
punching bag or a pillow to vent their feelings. Some are told to
go into a locked room and scream and holler in order to let off
some steam. The Bible condemns such action and instead commands
that you control your behavior instead of venting your feelings. Proverbs
29:11 states, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man
holds them back “(NKJV). D.
Holding
grudges: Ephesians
4:26 itself demonstrates that anger is to be dealt with
quickly. Though we may be aroused, we are to behave in such a way
that our anger subsides. We are not allowed to hold onto our
anger. We are not allowed to nurse our anger. We are not allowed
to seethe and simmer in anger for hours, days, weeks, months and
years. If we are aroused to anger, then we are to deal with it
that day. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. E.
Vengeance: Romans
12:17-21 teaches that only God has the authority to take
vengeance on anyone. We are to live by the “Golden Rule,” even
when we are angry, treating others not in the fashion that they
have treated us, but rather in the way we want to be treated (Matthew
7:12). F.
Separation
and isolation: God
condemns avoiding the source of our anger. He commands us to go to
them (Matthew 18:15).
Instead of isolation, He commands reconciliation (Matthew
5:24). G.
Bitterness: Paul said in Ephesians
4:31 that we are to put away all bitterness. The biting
sarcasm, the cold looks and cold shoulders, the constant feeling
of irritation and annoyance, the attitude of mere tolerance that
go along with bitterness are all condemned and are not allowed. H.
Slander
and gossip: In II
Timothy 3:3, slander (malicious gossip) is listed as one of the sins of those
who love themselves and pleasure, instead of loving God. I.
Malice: Paul condemned malice, evil desires and
intentions, in Ephesians
4:31. When you are angry, you are not even allowed to desire
that something bad happen to someone else.
J.
Corrupt
speech: In Ephesians
4:29, Paul condemned corrupt speech, contrasting it with
speech which builds others up. When someone has angered you, you
are not allowed to cut them down or speak meanly to them. K.
Forsaking
responsibilities:
According to James 4:17,
when you know what you are supposed to do and do not do it, you
are sinning. However, some use anger as an excuse not to do what
God has commanded of them. No matter what your husband or wife has
done … No matter what you children or parents have done … No
matter what your employer or employees have done to anger you, you
must fulfill your responsibilities and roles in those
relationships. III.
How are we
allowed to act when angry? A.
When we are
angered, we are allowed to love whoever has wronged us.
This will provide our first defense against sin, because the more
we grow in love, the slower our wrath will become. According to I
Corinthians 13:5, love is not provoked. Additionally, love
will help us properly approach a brother or sister who has wronged
us, because it will put us in the correct frame of reference. We
want to address the sin, not out of some sense of vengeance or
punishment, but out of a sincere desire to help our brother or
sister go to heaven. B.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to pray. Ephesians
4:27 claimed that anger can give opportunity to the devil. As
demonstrated in the model prayer of Matthew
6:13, we should pray to be delivered from the evil one. So
prayer is always needed when you have been angered. Additionally,
we should pray for whoever has done wrong, that they will repent,
following the example of Jesus on the cross (Luke
23:34) and Stephen while being stoned (Acts
7:60). C.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to remove planks from our own eyes first
(Matthew 7:3-5). That
is, we must look at ourselves and make sure there is nothing
hindering our own perception of the problem. Perhaps our own sins
are in the way. Perhaps arrogance hinders us from seeing the true
problem. Perhaps immaturity keeps us from understanding what is
right and what is wrong. Many times we become angry because of our
own sins and misperceptions. I know that the times I have had the
biggest problems with anger have been when the plank of personal
defensiveness was sticking out of my own eye. D.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to grieve over the wrong that has
aroused us, just as Jesus did in Mark
3:5. When He questioned the Pharisees about healing on the
Sabbath and witnessed their hardness of heart, He was not only
aroused to anger, but at the same time grieved over their sin. We
will only behave properly when, out of a spirit of love, we are
motivated to mourn over the sin, even when it has angered us (cf. I Corinthians 5:2). E.
You are
allowed to do good to whoever has wronged you. Romans
12:14 says to bless even those who persecute you. In Romans 12:17-21, Paul teaches us to do what is good to those who
have done evil to us. In so doing, we will overcome the evil. F.
You are
allowed to speak gently to those who have angered you. Proverbs
15:1 demonstrates that a soft answer will turn away wrath.
Anger will be defused when we speak gently to one another. Galatians 6:1 says we are to restore a brother in a spirit of
gentleness. And in Ephesians
4:29 our speech is to build others up and give grace to them,
even when angry. G.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to rebuke the one who sinned, gently
admonishing them to repent and be restored to Christ (Matthew
18:15; Luke 17:3; Galatians 6:1). If they refuse to repent, we
are allowed to take one or two others with us to rebuke, admonish
and testify to the sin. If they still refuse to repent, then the
church is allowed to mark and withdraw from them (Matthew
18:16-17). But, even at that point, we are not allowed to
regard the one who has sinned as an enemy, but to warn him as we
would a brother (II Thessalonians 3:14-15). H.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to strive for reconciliation. Matthew 5:23-24 demonstrates that when problems separate brethren,
they should reconcile with one another, even before they go to
worship God. Romans 12:18
claims we are to live peaceably with all men. We are allowed to
pursue peace between us and those who have wronged us. As part of
this, we are allowed to forgive the one who has caused our
anger when he repents (Luke
17:3-4). I.
When we are
angry, we are allowed to be quick about pursuing these positive
behaviors. As Ephesians
4:26 says, you must not allow the sun to go down on your
anger. You are not allowed to simply stay angry. Conclusion: Do you know what is the number one problem regarding anger whether in homes, companies, schools or churches? Too many times, even we, as Christians, have granted ourselves permission to sin when we are angry. Instead of controlling ourselves, we too often set at naught God’s pattern and do what we want to do. Do not pursue the course dictated by your feelings. Follow the course dictated by God’s Word, even when you are angered.
Glory
to God in the church by Christ Jesus
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