Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love
his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects
her husband. Ephesians
Love his own wife … and that she respects her husband.
read/hear what the text says … and agree with it:
Husbands, love your wives.
Wives, respect your husbands.
many – including Christians – have difficulty applying this
“fall in love”, then somehow “fall out of
What was once funny or tolerable now seems annoying or
grating for many spouses.
What was once “we do everything together” now seems
like “we do everything separate”.
What was once “I love you” is now “I don’t feel
like I even know you anymore.”
Result of Many Marriages
Spouses blame one another and justify their own
Many see no hope for their marriage and contemplate or go
Or, they continue in an unhealthy one.
What About Christian Spouses Who Desire to Glorify God?
Even “good marriages” have misunderstandings between
Naturally, the husband thinks, listens and speaks … like
Naturally, the wife thinks, listens and speaks … like a
There a Biblical Answer?
Our selfish (fleshly/worldly) nature. Jas.
This can be traced back to “the Fall” of man. Gen.
The curse meant that the wife should (lovingly)
“desire” her husband, who in turn would rule over her, OR
Her desire would be “for” her husband the same way sin
was “for” Cain. Cp. Gen.
Specifically Charges What each Spouse Primarily Lacks:
This doesn’t mean that other things aren’t beneficial
or even needed.
What it means is that the imperative given is most
needed. e.g. 1
Faith, spiritual gifts, sacrifice and benevolence were
Without (agape) love, however, the other gifts would
God “wired” women as naturally nurturing and sensitive.
Men typically lack such traits and thus (husbands) are
given the charge to (agape) “love” their wives. Cp. Eph.
He typically lacks sensitivity to her need to be
“loved” and is exhorted to dwell with her with such
God “wired” men to be leaders (headship): providers
& protectors. cp. Gen.
2:15, 18; 1 Tim. 2:11-14
Women typically have difficulty understanding a man’s
need for respect.
Example: greeting card market – geared toward the
woman’s psyche (“love”).
We don’t think anything about “earning” love yet
readily express the need to “earn” respect.” cp. 1
Pet. 3:1-2; Eph. 6:1
the Communication Barrier
Our different “wiring” affect the ways we think, speak,
listen, and behave.
It behooves husbands and wives to understand the basic
needs of each other.
And the only way to promote understanding of our spouses is
to rid our own selfishness by fulfilling what God desires for each
Love and Respect Are Applied
Husbands who sacrificially love their wives promote an
environment to be respected by them, and
Wives who respectfully submit to their husbands promote an
environment to be loved by them.
you want a better marriage based upon the will of God?
Men: love your wives.
respect your husbands.
to God in the church by Christ Jesus
Church of Christ